Here you will find my latest theories, commentaries, complaints, words of wisdom, practical tips, satires, epiphanies, conspiracies, and random thoughts. Feel free to respond with your comments at charles@crackhousemonkey.com.
The best of CalPoly water fountains.
There's nothing like a cool, refreshing drink of ice cold water. Most water on campus tastes bad. Especially in the science building where you can taste the chemicals that are in the water. I don't even think that water comes out clear. Only one place on campus deserves the title of having the best water fountain. That fountain is located on the fourth floor of the business building. Enter the building on the south side where the elevator is located. Go up the elevator to the fourth floor. Once you exit the elevator turn to your right for the best water fountain in CalPoly. The water tastes sweet and it is always chilled. The pressure is a little low but still very good. Don't drink from any water fountain on campus when you now know where the best one is.
posted by Charles Wang 2:48 PM | 0 comments
The best of egg rolls.
When you think Chinese food, you think egg rolls. In actuality, Chinese egg rolls are nothing like the egg rolls in America. Most really Chinese restaurants don't even serve egg rolls. Egg rolls don't have egg. My favorite place for egg roll is from a Chinese fast food place inside Albertson's connected to the mall. At one end of the mall is Mervyn's and on the other end is Albertson's. I started off as JCPenney but it closed for a few years before Smith's Food and Drug took over which was bought out by Lucky’s, which was bought out by Albertson's. Their egg rolls are made with just a little bit of filling. The filling consists of vegetables and egg. The wrapper isn't authentic Chinese egg roll wrapper. It's fake American kind that makes it doughier. It's fried to a crisp and served with sweet and sour sauce. The sweet and sour sauce is unnaturally red. Actually, it glows. Not all authentic cuisine has to taste great. Some of the best foods are cheap imitations.
posted by Charles Wang 3:47 PM | 0 comments
The best of hospitals.
Most people don't like to go to hospitals and, frankly, I don't like them either. But there is one that I do like. It is ST. John's Regional Medical Center in Oxnard. They build a new to replace the old one. I like this hospital because it actually looks good. Most hospitals are cement blocks but this one looks more like a livable building. Another great feature is that everyone gets his or her own room. Just about every hospital that I visited, guests would have to share a room. This is the only one that each patient can have their own room to share with friends and family. If I were to have a fatal disease, this is the hospital I would want to die at.
posted by Charles Wang 5:54 PM | 0 comments
The best of Christmas lights.
It's January and Christmas won't come around for another eleven months. When it is Christmas, the best Christmas like can be found on "F" and "G" Streets between "4th" and "5th" Streets in my hometown. The neighbors on those two streets really make it something to see. Every house is covered with lights. Most houses even have displays in front of there yards. One house has giant toy soldiers. Another house has a Peanuts Christmas display Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, and the entire crew that moves. One house has life size camels. It's really a treat to see how some people can really get into the spirit of Christmas.
posted by Charles Wang 12:47 PM | 0 comments
The best of chicken dinners.
The place for the best chicken dinners isn't known for its restaurant. It's better known for its jams and jellies and amusement park. So, it might be a surprise that the best chicken dinners are from Knott's Berry Farm. Just outside of the amusement park where you have the gift shops is a little known chicken dinner restaurant. Historically, the restaurant came first. Then a small ghost town was built to attract more visitors to the restaurant. Soon the restaurant got larger as did the park. Now the park is larger and better known but the chicken restaurant is still the best. We try to stop by there every time we pass by it. It may sound odd that we stop at a theme park just to eat there and not actually go it, but this chicken dinner is worth that trip.
posted by Charles Wang 1:53 PM | 0 comments
The best of CalPoly restrooms.
I've noticed that most of the previous entries are about food. I will on occasion detour away from food. Today I will name the best of restrooms in CalPoly. This is a specific honor because only restrooms on campus can qualify. The best restroom on campus is in building 19, the campus dining building. It's located next to Veranda Cafe on the opposite side of the Sandwich Factory and Lighthouse. It is a very clean restroom because people seldom use it. Mainly only staff uses it. The urinals and faucets are both automatic. The faucet even has warm water. It deserves the best of because of its privacy, cleanliness, and luxuriousness from money not well spent.
posted by Charles Wang 11:24 AM | 0 comments
The best of tri tip.
San Luis Obispo may be known for their barbeques. But the best tri tip that I know isn't in San Luis Obispo. It is from El Pollo Norteno (there's a small squiggly thing on the second "n") in Oxnard. They cook chicken like El Pollo Loco, but the best item on their menu is the tri tip. It's cooked on the grill to about medium. They let it rest and serve it sliced. The meat is tender but has give and it is juicy. It's easy to find dry meat but theirs is juicy. It's not served in a sandwich. You put it on a tortilla and eat it will some spicy salsa. They know their tri tip.
posted by Charles Wang 10:17 PM | 0 comments
The best of tacos.
Tacos are one of my favorite foods. We used to have taco night about once a week. My favorite place to get tacos other than homemade is Jack in the Box. Such an ordinary place to get tacos you must think. You must think Jack in the Box isn't even known for tacos. They make hamburgers. You would be right. Still, that doesn't stop me from saying that Jack in the Box has the best tacos. These aren't authentic Mexican tacos but these sure are the best American tacos you can get anywhere. Their tacos come pre-made and frozen. They deep-fry the entire taco with the meat and slices of cheese in it already. Jack in the Box takes it out of the deep fryer and stuff lettuce and hot taco sauce in it. It's served in a paper bag. It's probably the worst possible food you can eat health wise. Taste wise nothing can beat it.
posted by Charles Wang 7:52 PM | 0 comments
The best of chocolate milk.
I went shopping at Vons very late last night. I don't usually shop there because they are more expensive. They also have a wider variety of foods, which are better quality than the normal food I get at Food 4 Less. That is where I discovered on of the best drinks. Chocolate milk. You might think, "How can there be a best chocolate milk? Doesn't it all taste the same?" For the most part chocolate milk does taste the same. But chocolate milk from Broguiere's is the best. Their chocolate milk is creamier that others. When you pour it out of the bottle, it comes out thick and not watery. It comes in glass bottles just like the old days. It's mixed by hand at a small factory in Montebello where my grandma lives. Everyone should try the touch of creaminess and nostalgia.
posted by Charles Wang 2:31 PM | 0 comments
The best of authentic Mexican burritos.
First, most burritos that we eat are not authentic. That doesn't mean that they're not good but this best of is only for authentic burritos. The very best place is a little burrito place at the corner of Wooley and Hobson. It's between a laundromat and gas station. I like them because they were saltier than other burrito places. They were also smaller but the taste was worth paying the extra price. The little burrito shop has changed owners so they don't have those burritos anymore. A close second is a burrito shack across the street from Plaza Park. It's famous for have tacos for fifty cents. They're burritos are larger and they serve all the different types of meat from beef tongue to chicken to pork rinds. I doubt that place would get a passing grade from food inspectors. Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger. But I guess the food inspectors did find out and closed the little burrito shack. The whole building is gone. Now I have to search for another best authentic Mexican burrito.
posted by Charles Wang 2:17 PM | 0 comments
The best of donuts.
Donuts. Everybody loves them. The place for the best donuts is Krispy Kremes. Originally from the South, it has moved north and now west. They are lighter than most donuts. It is fried and then conveyered under a waterfall of sugary glaze. The plain glazed is still the best. The glaze melts in your hand. The donut melts in your mouth. I can finish an entire dozen in on sitting. Actually I'll only be able to finish four before I vomit. But after I vomit there's room in my stomach for more donuts.
posted by Charles Wang 2:58 PM | 0 comments
For the next few weeks I will start a series call The Best of... I will discuss what I think is the best in anything.
I start the series with the best cheese steak sandwich west of the Mississippi. The place also has a really good hot pastrami sub. The Pizza Co. is the name of the restaurant. It's located in Oxnard if you go on Wooley heading toward the beach. My classmate's parents own the restaurant. They are Chinese and they own a restaurant that sells Italian food. You can't find that anywhere else other than America. They are generous with the contents of the sandwich. They price isn't bad either. The bread is perfect. It’s not too soft and not too hard either.
posted by Charles Wang 11:58 PM | 0 comments
Happy new year everyone except the Chinese. They celebrate their new year on some other day. It's the beginning of a new year. I do have to say that the beginning of this New Year feels a lot like the end of last year. And the beginning of this new millennium feels a lot like the end of the last millennium. It's also my grandpa's birthday today. It's not on this day every year since he follows the lunar calendar. He's ninety-five today.
posted by Charles Wang 2:27 PM | 0 comments